Shay Rowbottom is the CEO of Shay Rowbottom Marketing, a company that helps executives and founders generate revenue by creating LinkedIn videos. She is an influencer and an entrepreneur who specializes in LinkedIn marketing and viral video production. Previously, she was the COO and Co-Founder of Margle, where she helped publishers create viral videos on Facebook. She is also passionate about music and songwriting. In her free time, you can find her journaling, meditating, and practicing yoga.
WEBSITE: Shay Rowbottom
- Why LinkedIn is a great platform for marketing
- How to turn haters into fans
- How to find your purpose (personally and professionally)
- How life coaches can help you
- Why it’s important to heal from childhood wounds
- Does college make you more open-minded?
- Why vulnerability can be a strength for an entrepreneur
- Getting More Exposure With Podcasts
- Moving From Milwaukee to Miami
- Turning Haters Into Fans
- LinkedIn is Great for Marketing
- Bringing Insecurities Into Your Business
- Helping Healers and Shamans Market Themselves
- How to Find Your Higher Purpose
- How to Be More Self Aware
- Idealizing Your Parents
- Shay’s Upcoming Projects
- What Shay Does For Continuous Healing
- Life Coaches vs Therapists
- Shay’s Take on Colleges
- Vulnerability is a Strength for Businesses
You’ve definitely heard someone you know complain about their job.
They can’t get themselves out of the 9-to-5 rut or maybe they simply hate their boss.
Whatever the case there is a common thread that binds unhappy employees:
A lack of purpose.
When you truly love what you do, you’re likely to want to go the extra mile. If you work for fulfillment, you’re also likely to be more productive, happy, and engaged at work.
Yet many of us end up with dead-end jobs that leave us wanting more.
Is there a way out?
In this podcast, Shay Rowbottom, CEO of Shay Rowbottom Marketing, discusses how it’s possible for each one of us to find our higher purpose so that we can reach our true potential.
How Can You Find Your Purpose And Reach Your True Potential?
If you are unhappy or unfulfilled with your job, you’re on the right path.
How does that make any sense?
Because at least you know you are capable of achieving more. You know you want greener pastures in your life.
Listen to your inner dissatisfaction.
It might be time to make a drastic change. If you want to reach your full potential, you need to begin by finding your true purpose.
How can you find your true purpose?
Start by asking yourself these questions:
- Why do you do the work that you do?
- What motivates you?
- If you could do any job in the world, what would you pick?
- Are you happy?
Finding the right answers may not be an easy task.
To help you out, Shay Rowbottom has some tips for you:
1. Unlearn Your Childhood Conditioning
Since your childhood, society has conditioned you to behave in a certain way. You’re expected to make certain choices to fit into the culture.
While growing up, you likely observed your parents, teachers, and other older people around you and learned about certain behaviors from them.
If you want to reach your true potential, you need to work on finding out who you are minus the conditioning. Forget all of the societal expectations and pressures.
Who are you without any of that weighing you down?
To become more self-aware, you need to observe yourself more objectively. Just think about what you’re doing and why you’re doing it.
Put all your judgments aside. Observing your own behaviors can help you identify toxic patterns that have stuck around from childhood.
In the podcast, Shay reveals that it took a lot of introspection for her to realize that she had a “victim mentality.”
Instead of owning up to her mistakes, she always felt like she was a victim of the circumstances around her.
Not only did it affect her personal life, but it impacted her professionally as well. She realized that she was always trying to run away from responsibility. Or trying to blame setbacks on someone else.
Once she became aware of her negative patterns, she tried to figure out why she was acting the way she was. That’s when she understood which part of her personality she needed to work on.
2. Get Honest Feedback From Close Friends
It can be difficult to see your own shortcomings clearly. After all, we all have our blind spots. The best way to understand your flaws is to ask people around you. Talk with your closest friends, the ones who can be brutally honest with you.
Tell them you don’t want to hear a sugar-coated version of your personality.
Be ready for the hard stuff and be strong enough to take it all without becoming defensive. The only way to improve is to own up your flaws and work on correcting them.
If you hear similar patterns or themes in your feedback from different people, know that it is an area you need to improve on.
To understand her limitations, Shay went to her girlfriends who would tell it like it was. She realized that others could clearly recognize the “victim mentality” mindset that she was operating from.
3. Find a Reliable Life Coach
To become your best version, you’ll need help from others. Of course, you can do it alone. But having someone rooting for you can make a world of difference.
That’s where a life coach can step in.
A life coach can help you navigate your personal and professional goals by working to develop an actionable plan for you.
Think of a life coach as a mentor, counselor, and friend — all rolled into one. They can help you identify the beliefs that are limiting you by analyzing your circumstances.
Life coaches can help you devise a customized action plan keeping in mind your personality and specific goals that you want to achieve.
You can benefit from their experience, insight, and clarity of vision. Working with a life coach can help you stay more focussed and accountable.
For self discovery and growth, Shay is currently working with four life coaches who are helping her navigate different areas of her life.
4. Give Up People Pleasing
Everyone likes to be loved, right? But it’s impossible for everyone to like you. Shay believes if you’re popular with everyone, you are doing it all wrong.
There is a chance that you may be doing things that you don’t like, just to impress others.
That’s a facade you’re putting up.
Without you knowing, your people-pleasing tendencies can take over your life.
After putting in 10 hours of work, are you taking on another project just to impress your boss?
If you’re saying yes to every event and every assignment that comes your way, you’re not putting yourself first.
It can be exhausting to meet everyone’s demands. To avoid burnout, you need to become more assertive and set clear boundaries. Don’t do anything just because it is an obligation.
You’re the only person responsible for your happiness, fulfillment, and growth. If you want to reach your true potential, you need to give up on people pleasing and unlearn other behaviors that are holding you back.
Reach out to close friends and ask them for their honest feedback. That can help you understand your own blind spots.
Then, work with a reliable life coach to chart out an action plan for self-discovery and growth.
Do you have any questions about finding fulfillment in your career? Please share your views in the comments section.
Shane: Welcome to the podcast. I am Shane Barker, your host of Shane Barker's marketing madness podcast. In this episode, I will be talking with my guest Shay Rowbottom, she is the CEO Shay Rowbottom of marketing. She helps founders executive grow their presence and generate revenue through LinkedIn by turning them into LinkedIn video creators. In the past she was the CEO of Margul for she used to help publishers create viral videos for Facebook. In the past she was also a professional musician. Listen as she talks about how she dealt through childhood wounds to become a successful marketer. Shane: Shay, how are you doing? Shay: Good thanks for being so patient with me man. I had like an influx of podcasts over the summer it totally burned me out. I was like, I'm fucking over this podcast bullshit. Shane: That's what we're talking about. So that's a good way of starting a podcast like I'm so tired of podcast and Shay: I really like it, I try to be pragmatic. And it's like, yeah I really haven't had a lot of success with like getting leads through podcasts like I've gotten new followers and stuff I really like appreciate like the micro content that I sometimes get from podcasts some of those done really well for me. And then I get to promote the podcast a little on my page too, which is like a win win. But yeah, no, it's just like a crazy man, I try all these other channels, I do all this other stuff. And it always goes back to LinkedIn. Like I get way more leads through my LinkedIn videos and anything so I'm trying, basically now moving into the place of establishing myself in other channels. You can't just be dependent on one, but yeah know, that's like really what it's been for me is just like LinkedIn videos and like, I'll go do a speech I'll go do this. It's like the videos, the videos always get me the most return. So yeah, this podcast thing. I was kind of like taking a backseat for a while, but I had my break. I'm good. I'm ready to go. Let's do this. Shane: Right? Shay: Yeah, let me know. Shane: I love it. I love it. It's funny how we talked about the podcast because it's, I mean, I've done a lot of podcasts as well. And it's like I don't know if I can really say that it's brought me tons of business, right? It's like what do you think its exposure and for thought leadership and there’s some value to it, I guess, but I can't say that. Oh, I close this big client. Actually, there was one podcast that brought me like two or three great leads, I don't know what it was. It was like a crazy entrepreneur. They do the sell businesses and so the business sort of listened to it and then when they saw their business in 10 years and how to do that. There was some influencer marketing thing that I was doing and we got a great, great amount of leads from that. But for the most part, even though we're going to be doing podcast heavy in 2020, just doing more of my podcast, because we started this in July then have some good traction with Apple and you know, whatever. Yeah, really some other fun stuff. So it's cool. It's cool. Shay: Awesome. Shane: Are you where I know you're in Miami? Shay: I live in Miami. Yeah. Shane: Did you just move or what I was trying to stalk you a little bit before jumping on. Shay: Yeah, I'm from Milwaukee born and raised. So I had my first business that I ended up just scaling in Milwaukee. I got an investment at 24 and I just kind of naturally got built in my hometown, I'm not really a cold weather person. Like I always thought I'd leave the Midwest way sooner, but I got tied up there. You know, I started like my company, I had all these employees, so it was just my life and then about a year ago, I got into it with my investors. I was like, starting to feel pretty unfulfilled. We weren't getting along. They didn't like me, like at all even though I ran that shit. That's what they didn't like. They didn't like me. They didn't like me like it was straight sexism. Like, they didn't, try to hide it. Like they were just really threatened by me like old conservative men, because then when I left I was like, okay, fine. They wanted to just like demote me, basically, I don't have a lot of people this but like, basically they wanted to demote me and I'm like, you're going to demote me like, okay, I'm leaving, like I'm not being demoted, I founded this like that is so disrespectful like, no. So I said buy me out and they did, they bought me out they had like a hella crazy non compete. I'm like, Oh, I'm not valuable but you are all threatened by me leaving and doing you know what I mean? It was just like, clearly like they didn’t find me very valuable. They were just like, they just don't like powerful women and this is not just my investors. This is like my last business partner. I mean, I don't know, I attracted all sorts of awful narcissistic businessmen in my life because of my childhood where I come from, we can get into all of that, but it's like, really when I finally put my foot down and started standing up for myself started healing, that's when things really opened up for me. So I moved to Miami I took my payout I left I packed everything up I moved down here in March man and it's just been like one growth journey after the next like I mean, I have grown a lot in business the past year but it's like really not even that like I've like gone through a whole bunch of personal growth down here met a lot of healers down here. There's a great like spiritual community down here. I wasn't expecting that. I thought I moved to Miami for business fucking tax laws, all that shit. And like, Yeah, dude, I just ended up doing a bunch of work on myself. My partner and I actually just broke up three months ago, so that was huge. Like, I've been with him for four years. He was my business partner. So now I'm a solopreneur like literally like it's just me, then like slowly shedding People for the past year or so, and now it's just me and I like it. So that's what's going on. Definitely comes from what we put out there. Shane: For sure. Shay: I was just like very unconscious a lot of my insecurities. So through business I started to learn like a lot about myself, which I'm super grateful for. Shane: And it's funny so we call it Shane Barker's marketing madness podcast because we talk about a lot of different things. Marketing is one of those things, but I've had crazy guests talk about different crazy things, right that are in their life, but I think this is cool. We're talking about obviously do a lot of viral stuff. We'll talk about LinkedIn and the different type of content you produce. But I do like to hear a little bit about your background as well like where you grew up. So you grew up in Milwaukee, right. And so you live there until just recently, you just move a few months ago. Shay: Yep. Yep. I grew up in Wisconsin, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Yeah. I never lived anywhere. But there. I did live in Madison, Wisconsin for like two years. A little bit of a college thing. Didn’t work out. But yeah, like I never moved away from my hometown until recently. Shane: And then you have a pretty big family there still was your family live there? Shay: Yeah, I don't talk to my family. Shane: Gotcha. Shay: Yeah, a lot of them are still up there, my immediate family like my sisters and stuff got out like we all moved away. I was actually one of the last ones to move away, they kind of dipped right at 18 most of them so my sisters are scattered around the country don't really have much relationship with them. Do not talk to my parents will not and then like yeah, but like aunts and uncles grandparents those are a lot of them are still up in Milwaukee, yeah. Shane: I love it. How you said they got out. It's like a prison sentence. You're like, no, they got out, they escaped. Like we just thank God I was the last one. We just barely Shay: Yeah, I would say they got out a little bit. I still think there’s a lot that they’re not facing either. I’ve always been very rebellious to my family. I mean, very Shane: Shot, you don't have that personality. That’s a joke. Shay: It’s funny because people do ask me sometimes how are you so resilient? How do you handle you know, obviously like anyone who grows a page like to the volume that I have gets a lot of heat. Gets a lot of, you know, the bigger you get the more people especially as a woman, studies have shown the more successful woman becomes the less likable she is versus a man. It's the opposite. The more successful he becomes, the more likable he is. Yeah, so like there's definitely haters, but because I come from a home where I was already rejected, like my family basically always hated and resented me anyways. It's just like made me so strong. Even some of my friends were like, Oh my god, I'm so sorry people are mean. And I'm like, dude, you guys don't even realize this does not affecting me, like at all. I love the haters, like bring it on what you got to say, I just learned from it. Like maybe there's a sliver of truth in what they're saying. Because a lot of times when we get offended, it's because it's true. Shane: Yeah, strike the chord. Shay: Yeah, you know, how are you not offended by all these comments? Well, because a lot of them don't land for me. You know, people saying things like you're a flash in the pan entrepreneur Shay, you're fake. You're this and that. None of that is true. So it doesn’t land for me. You know, if it’s something like you’re bitter Shay and your anger shines through your content, then it’s kind of like oh, yeah, that might be true. So you got to like the objective even with the haters, because you can learn something from them. Shane: Well, and that’s the thing, I think it’s so hard, especially when you start to make it I mean I always tell people, clients and even people I work with, like, if you don't have people hating on you haven't made it yet, right? I mean, especially in the social scene, which is unfortunate, right? Because it's, you'd like to think that it's more supportive. And I think it is a lot harder as you've touched on with women, right? I mean, it's just it's harder out there, right? Because if you look at I mean, YouTube is just brutal. yesterday I was looking at, long story short, I was looking at some content, and we're doing some video stuff. And I was trying to find some old footage. And I was reading some of the comments and some of the other stuff. Because I don't ever read the comments, because I just don't, because I there's really, I don’t find tons of value in it. And there was people saying, oh, you're this and you're that, I was like, you guys just, I really think that if you guys use this time that you're on YouTube and went and volunteered or maybe got a puppy or something. Or done something a little more productive, or maybe you know, step in front of a car or something like that, do something that I think would benefit everybody in the long run. But it is just pretty negative, I can be a negative scene up there. But I love the fact that you're kind of flipping that on its head and like, it doesn't land for me. Yeah. Shay: Yeah Shane: Which is cool Shay: Yeah, not only that, but I've turned a lot of haters into fans. I make video content about this I'm gonna actually repost that video soon it had a headline that got flagged by LinkedIn so it like didn't go anywhere. I got to repost it with a new headline but anyways, I basically like I've many times reached out to haters like even people who were just like, and I'm not talking about like constructive criticism like I'm talking about like people who are blatantly rude like clearly trying to hurt you. I'm straight up reached out to them before and like been very kind and loving and said like, Hey I am legit, I know I look young maybe you know don’t think that I'm just a blonde millennial like playing popularity on LinkedIn. But like, I assure you, I do have a business. I am very serious about what I do. I do love to help business owners like if you've ever liked to learn more, here's my info, like much love. I appreciate the feedback on my post. I always love reading the comments. Like they always turn into fans. Always. I haven't I mean, maybe a few have been like no fuck you. But honestly like a lot of haters. People don't realize if you just approach them and you're like nice, you confront them directly, not in the comments. You want to make it like in the message. I'll go direct to message them. Yeah, I do it a lot of those people turn into fans and then they comment on like all myself and they love me. It's like hilarious. Shane: It's funny you and I have some parallels and I've never talked to this on my podcast. I'm not gonna go heavy into this. But back in the day I was sued. I was sued by one of my companies at a big company 130 employees. I mean, it was a crazy crazy story. But what happens I had a lot of people in line saying stuff because they would see me in the media and some other stuff that was going on. And they would write some bad stuff, they would say these crazy comments and I first would really take it to heart right. And there was four people that was going through a court case which is you can probably Google and find it out well nobody's ever heard this on my podcast and I've been in this for a long time it’s an interesting story Shay: Oh the secrets come out when Shay comes on as a guest Shane: I was like I don't tell a lot of people this I'm just like, you know crying and I'm holding on my blanket. But I feel comfortable. So there we go and here is the deal, I had about four or five people that really blasted me online. I did the same thing. In fact, I told my attorney I was gonna do he's like do not do that. I reached out to him and said, Hey, you guys are saying this and saying I'm a fraud. This all kinds of stuff like let's meet for lunch and they're like if I meet you for lunch I'm gonna beat you up, I'm like this Yep, sounds good awesome let's meet. I'm Irish, I got red beard I'm pretty active like you know boxing classes like I'll take the Pepsi challenge Shay: You got a little Conor McGregor up and Shane: I didn't want to bring it up but not today Satan Not today. So that was the deal and so I end up meeting the funny part was is all four of them that I met with three of them offered me a job at the end of the thing and I said this is what you guys see what you think you know what's going on, like, let me explain to you how this whole thing came about and what you think you know and by the end of it, it was awesome. Not that I was looking to turn them into like advocates or fans. But it was like hey, like you guys are. You're over here with mouth and up, but you don't know the whole story and you're just mouthing off because you feel like it's great to mouth off and I'm here to tell you like that's not the deal. And if I was whatever you think that I am I was a con artist or whatever you thought I wouldn't be here talking to you. Like why would I come and confront you like if I made millions of dollars and ran off to Mexico and you know grabbed strippers and cocaine and that was my deal, then why would I be here talking? Why would I even care what you have to say right? Other than the fact that you were saying some stuff that I wanted to call you on it? And so anyways, it's interesting that you do that because I do the same thing. I never really told anybody that but it was look, as for me. It's like, Listen, you think you know who I am, and you think you know what I've been through, but you have no idea. And so I think that's important. And I think that's awesome. And this is why we call it Shane Barker’s marketing madness podcast, because you know, it's like work now we're talking about other stuff, but I think that's awesome. Like your journey. Like you've been kind of built for this. You've been kind of built for haters to come at you, like you're kind of… Shay: That’s exactly what I said. I said, I was built for this. And I faced so much rejection so early on in life, like tons I used to be very sensitive about I used to run out of auditions, crying. I mean, like, I look back and I say thank you to every single person who ever rejected me, thank you, because you all made me so strong, and success is the best revenge. All those people who rejected me even you know, ex partners, investors, whatever, who didn't want to see my value. That's fine dude. Because I'm going to go on. I’m gonna make it anyways, you’re gonna make me stronger and you’re gonna see what you missed out on. And that’s pretty much where I’m at. Shane: I'm gonna go get a Shay tattoo today, I've decided, I’m gonna put up your name somewhere and that’s it. Today is the day getting it done, son. Shay: Yes. I love it. Shane: No, that's awesome. No, I love your attitude. I think that's very contagious. Because obviously, you've been through a lot, right. And I think you're ready for this kind of stuff. And I obviously, I've seen your content. And I think it's awesome that you're… I think it's interesting. So I think it's interesting that you're using LinkedIn, and you've kind of touched on that in the beginning, right? It’s like you would think that with the content you produce, it’s very much Instagram very much kind of lifestyle and well, a little bit like Shay. It’s funny. And it’s interesting how it has that LinkedIn side of it, like kind of how did that work? Like, when did you realize you’re like LinkedIn is kind of on fire right now? Like, when did you realize that was the place to have the platform? Shay: Well, I got approached about LinkedIn about a year and a half ago through a friend who said he was having a lot of success on it like, hey, the organic reach is really great right now. I think you should make some original video content to get leads back for your…, my Facebook agency at the time all admit I didn't know anything about LinkedIn like I still kind of didn't see it as a valuable platform even as a businesswoman like I was never using it I think I hired like a lead gen service one time but my profile was like idol I wasn't doing content so it was like a wack campaign. But he said organic reach and I say okay, like I got I got at least see because where I come from in the Facebook world working with all these, all my clients were like blog owners, very talented people like very talented like massive followings on Facebook, some of the biggest pages on Facebook, they're my ex clients. And I noticed a theme very early on and working so closely with them that a lot of them built their page at the right time. And that's why they were so established because it's very hard to grow on Facebook organically today. A lot of them got in at the Gold Rush grew their page established it and they're kind of just set there, they'll always be making money even when the algorithm it's like they're established. So I saw that happening on LinkedIn. I quickly realized like, Oh my god, yeah, might be too late. For me to like grow on Facebook, or even YouTube, even Instagram, like I get that people might see me as a little more fit for those platforms. But it truly did have a lot to do with just growth. Like why invest in these other platforms when I can grow so quickly here, which I did and now the overflow is almost naturally happening with the other platforms like I haven't had to do much promoting people are starting to find me out on other channels. I do plan to get a little more raw and Shay like on the other channels because you're right, I do talk about a variety of topics outside of just business. But LinkedIn, for me has definitely been the gold mine because yeah, even though I show up, like I'm not solely about business, and I'm my own personal brand, I talk about my struggles as a woman as a human, it still gets amazing results. I mean, I've really built like a tribe of people who just trust me, they respect me for my authenticity. They're not deterred from doing business with me just because I'm not perfect. And that's like a big misconception people have on LinkedIn. I can't get too personal. I can't get too vulnerable. I'm going to turn off prospects. Yeah, you might but like, for me, it's definitely not anything… Shane: We're going to be good fit anyways. And that’s the way I look at it. Shay: They were going to be a good fit, but I'm also drawing and just so many more people that that one person I turned off, there's 20 more people coming in. So people asked why LinkedIn? Well, first of all, I'm doing b2b right now. So that's really anyone's jam right now, I suggest you get on LinkedIn for any sort of b2b marketing any sort of high ticket offer that you have. Like if you're running ads on Facebook or Instagram for your b2b and you're not doing organic on LinkedIn yeah you're missing out big time because the views here are cheap, your audience is like literally free and it won't be that way forever. So I'm actually got on started making a lot more money started being myself and then I you know, pivoted from the last agency left open my own agency solely about LinkedIn marketing, to teach basically people to do what I did, because I had such success early on, and I can't lie It's been a really great spiritual journey for me like I love this platform. It's way more conscious than other social media platforms. Everyone's a little more intelligent, educated, everyone has money or like, access to money, and a lot of my audiences male which is also really weird. You know, I didn't grow up with a lot of men. I've just come from a very feminine household lots of girlfriends, lots of you know, I didn't have brothers. It's like, it's just weird to me that there's all these businessmen, like they're great people and they just like highly respect me and follow me and I'm like, wow, okay, so here I am with this like male following. I'm like, this is so weird, but do skip it. Do skip it so I don't mind. I do not mind accepting their money. Shane: Yeah, absolutely. Amen to that. So I want to talk a little more about LinkedIn but well I do want to digress You said you're gonna get a little more raw on the other social profiles like you can't just say that statement expect for me just to like, skip over and be like, Oh, that sounds awesome. Like, what is raw like LinkedIn is I think is you but what do you mean raw? Like what are you going to go after? Shay: Yeah, I mean, I know that that probably comes as a shock to people they're like, Oh my god, how can you get more raw than like what you're already doing? But you know, I really haven't opened up that much about my own personal story. I really haven't. I really been avoiding like, and I talked about this a lot more recently is like just a lot of my like childhood trauma that I didn't deal with earlier and life like that I brought into business I brought in entrepreneurship I brought into my last agency. I mean, I was accountable too, I was frankly very toxic at times. I mean, I definitely had value and I knew how to I was a digital marketer ninja was like just things like struggling with take responsibility for things I kept running up against this victim mentality. The certain point like if enough people are telling you like, dude, you got issues taking responsibility for things, you better wake up like, it's not just 1 2 3 people saying that it's a lot of people saying that. So, for me, it's like, like the digital marketing. I am truly very passionate about teaching people that I love that I have this unique experience with my you know, last company being in video licensing. I got to learn a lot, but I'm really called to more personal development as of lately and talking more about why people are so insecure. You know why we have like the root issues that we have in society today. addiction, obesity, divorce, depression, I mean, like one in four women is on antidepressants. The suicide rate for men is like ridiculous it's just like, there's a lot of things that we collectively have just been in denial about. And we keep all playing our small role and upholding this facade. But really, I mean, what it is, is just like an ocean of like, mainly fake people is what it is through no fault of their own. This is how most of us are raised. This is how we're programmed go to school, go to college, get married, check, the boxes look normal on the outside and anything like to, like vulnerable or just like very, very, very, I mean, that was our parents generation, their parents generation. Millennials are kind of blowing the lid off all that we're like, dude, we're sick. We're depressed. We don't want kids. Why would I want kids like why am I why would I repeat this anymore? And people say, Millennials don't want to kids is too expensive. Millennials don't want kids because they don't know how to raise kids because they're starting to recognize that their parents didn't know shit for how to raise them. And all we're doing is raising generation after generation of people who don't love themselves and it's like really hard for parents to face you try calling a parent out on not being a good parent all the defensiveness is so fierce because they know deep down that their parents wounded them and they Have a really sensitive spot for not doing the same thing. But oftentimes they do. Oftentimes, they like have a surfacey different quality than they are like, Oh, well, my dad never came to my soccer games. And I go to all my son's soccer games. So like, I'm a way better dad. But they're still doing the same underlying like conditional love at the end of the day. So parents confuse qualities and like personality traits with being a better parent. But they're still deep-down operating from the same conditional love wanting their kids to get into college so that they look good, wanting their kids to get straight A's so that they look good enough for the kid. It's for them and it's just normal. So I'm about to blow the lid off that I mean, I don't have kids, but I've studied a lot about childhood development. And this comes from my own experience growing up with narcissistic parents who were also deeply wounded from their own childhoods and never addressed it before reproducing and having five of their own kids. So it's an epidemic. It's something that I feel is kind of invisible like a it's almost like cancer everyone knows is an epidemic narcissistic parenting and this sort of cycle of abuse. We keep penetrated through generations has been almost somewhat hidden until recently, I plan to be at the forefront of that industry that starts to blow the lid off of like, Okay, why are we so sick and unhappy? Something needs to change, because what we're doing right now is not suiting the human spirit. And I think enough people are starting to wake up to agree like, yeah, this needs to become a priority. Shane: And I think this is more of a personal level that you want to kind of your I'm gonna say crusade because it sounds like I mean, that's kind of awesome. Right? So but it's more of a personal level, how is that going to tie into your businesses? How do you see that tying into like the LinkedIn and the videos and all that kind of that? Shay: Yeah, that's a great question. I have a great answer for you. I am working to automate and delegate my marketing division so that I don't have to be so hands on in the LinkedIn training. And personally I do have a great team of social media experts. Some of them worked with me for many years, so they get it, but the reality is, is this marketing expertise is something I can take anywhere. And especially during my time in South Florida doing all this personal work. Meeting more and more healers down here. You know natural paths breath, work practitioners, shamans, all these different people that I've met that have really oh gosh, just impacted me so much for the better. I mean, I've had like new life coaches that I've hired and just so many these people are part of the, I like to call it like there's a huge disproportion right now in society of broken, wounded like unconscious people out in the world wreaking havoc who need healing versus the amount of people who actually understand and can help you heal. It's like there's way too many broken people and not enough healers and I'm not talking about Western doctors. I'm not even talking about clinical therapist. Fuck that shit. You know, I did talk therapy for seven years. I called my therapist was like, Yo, I wasted like straight up like I wasted seven years of money on you going to talk therapy. I just worked with a shaman for one weekend. I was very open to it. You know, you have to go in your own time. It's on you, of course. But like that experience just absolutely blew the lid off of everything I had thought in traditional therapy. So I started investing more and more in these alternative medicines come to find there's all these amazing people that have these great healing modalities. However, in this community, a lot of these conscious people, they're amazing. They're like, totally woke and healing and just like, amazing energy to be around, but they don't know business. A lot of them don't know how to market themselves, a lot of them are just like, they have shit for presence on social media. So I'm really being called to once I'm able to really automate the LinkedIn side of things, move my marketing to actually be a little more niche in helping healers and helping people in the conscious community, people in the personal development space like think like Tony Robbins, Bernie Brown type, like those are the sort of healers and thought leaders that I want to market in addition to what I'm building with LinkedIn, and all the business owners there too. Shane: Awesome. So I mean, you really going to take the equation that you've learned being a digital worker and through on LinkedIn, you're going to take that to people that don't know how to market I mean which make sense, right? I mean, it makes total sense. We're talking about healers and stuff like that. Because I think that is the hard part like I mean what do you look up like shaman healers in Sacramento? Shay: Yeah I mean think about think about like effectiveness of digital marketing in the modern age and the darkness that kind of comes with the internet. A lot of these healers, they don't even like social media because there is a darkness here that they are protecting their energy from that they're very reluctant to like, I mean, it would be very rare to find someone who's like a shaman or like a breathwork practitioner, very spiritual healer that also is like, Oh, yeah, I'm totally social media savvy. I'm on it like logic it's just not so bridging that gap and really helping to get these messages out there. I mean, these are the products I believe in the most and while I love helping business owners in any b2b space, this is what the world needs. You know, this is what the world needs is healing. This is what I needed. I realized I would have made way more money I would have been a way better Boss, I would have been way better for my clients, I would have shown up so much better provided more value for them. Had I done this healing work much, much earlier, which our society doesn't really promote or make it easy to find access to you kind of gotta go hunt it down on your own. So if anyone out there is like listening and you're like lost in your personal journey trying to do work on yourself and you feel like you don't have a lot of support your family's looking at you like a weirdo for trying to go within. Like, dude, you're not alone. Just keep going. I know it feels lonely. Reach out to me if you'd like I'll try to get back to you like it is worth it absolutely. It is worth it. You know, I have had to go through some dark times. But absolutely came out the other side with the intention I originally sought out which is like growth, healing and peace, inner peace that I previously just could not access. Shane: Just awesome. So I mean, this is once again, this is why I love talking to people because you just never know. I mean, I look at the questions that I send over and I'm like, we're not even gonna get into probably any of these. Shay: Oh my gush I know I'm sorry. I'm like veering, we can turn Shane: No we don't no we don't sister you can't make a right hand turn and then try to make a left turn like but this is the path we're going down. We're not looking to things. I think it's really interesting just because of what you're doing is you're going to develop a business around something that's helped you personally, right, which I think is valuable because you're saying hey, listen there's a bigger problem here. Right? I do agree with it. There's a huge problem. But just everything talked about depression, obesity, alcoholism, drug use, I mean, all that. Right. But I mean, how do you think the hardest part is, is because we usually go, let's say Western medicine of like here, medicate, do this, do that, hey, you just came back from the war, take this, do this and it doesn't it's not really taking care of the problem, right? We don't take care of that the main problem, which is there's a lot more going on, right? I mean, we have our things that have happened in our past that have made it to where we're at today, whether that's good or bad, or whatever, some people break because of that. Some people don't I mean, there's just a lot of things that tie into that and you're going to take what you've done video wise and doing viral videos and creating that type of content and you're going to use some of those same tactics in been put it in to be able to get the word out about people that need help. Sounds like that's the goal. Shay: Yeah, absolutely. You know, I feel that it's very much needed for me and all business owners to have some sort of higher purpose aligned with their work. Now, I'm not going to sit here and act like I was completely unfulfilled the past four years doing social media. But you know, I was very conscious of like I was doing it to build a skill I was doing it to have that skill on my tool belt like I want to know media buying, I want to know video creation, I want to know how the news feed works. I did that as an investment knowing that I could take that knowledge with me anywhere. But you're right in that like it's not the driving factor behind like making Facebook videos, making pet videos, all the stuff I did, it was fun. It humbled me I learned a ton I would not be the Shay Rowbottom you see today on LinkedIn without all that experience. However, I didn't have like that real higher purpose behind my work. And I see that now I see that it's like dude, these 12 13 14 hour days that we sometimes incur as entrepreneurs are so much easier to get through when you have a higher purpose behind your work. And so that's what I'm excited about stepping into is not just the healing and what I believe this world needs most right now and helping them market these healers to society but also that I care. You know, I care a lot more about helping the world heal from their childhood wounds and all this unaddressed trauma so we can stop repeating it stop the cycle of abuse and children I mean that at the end of the day is going to drive me way more than you know just getting like a SAS Business a higher lead stream through there LinkedIn. Shane: So how did you make that, I want to talk about your journey here because I think this is really interesting. Like when you talk about a higher purpose because I'll be honest, I feel like I would say in the last probably six months or a year I thought what is my purpose right I mean, I do this keynote speeches. I do this I have a podcast, I have a successful blog. I have you know, a big team I have this I have all that. But I do feel like at times that my purpose isn't aligned with what I really should be doing right I feel like I want to touch more people. Right I'm feel like I want to do more things. I tried to do the… podcasts people can learn and educate but I do feel like there's there is something missing like if I was just saying hey, I want to something it's a little more fulfilling, right? Like you're always kind of looking for it, like I do feel like I've talked about just recently about going and buying an RV, and I was gonna take that RV and go for like six months or a year and just go on a journey and like, just go nuts. Shay: About to do some Breaking Bad, set out in an RV man Shane: I haven't done a lot of meth, but I mean, just a little bit when I was in college. Just kidding, I've never done that, but I think there's something about that, like that journey of like, what are you gonna find out there? Because I think you don't know what you don't know. Right? And it's like, you've kind of broken out of things that were happened in your past and you're working on healing yourself for that. And I just think about it. I don't know if there's tons of stuff that I necessarily childhood wise. Maybe there was I don't know, that I can think of Yeah, but I'm just trying to think of like, what is it? How do you realize you're like, Oh, I mean, you said you had all kinds of people were saying hey, you're not addressing these certain things. You're like, whatever, whatever, whatever. Then all of a sudden you realize. How do you make that transition? And then like go into finding healers and stuff like that because it's not like you just go and you're like, you go down to the mall you like I'm looking for a healer like, Oh, it's you know, three rows down here. There's a healer, his name's John. He's really nice, you know? You are like, hey John what’s up? What’s that journey like? Shay: Yeah, that's like a really Great question because I personally feel that I like had to hit rock bottom in a lot of ways. Rock Bottom for me. I mean it's different for everyone but like for me rock bottom was actually getting that payout that I got last year when I sold my shares in my old agency moving to Miami like I always wanted having more freedom, autonomy independence, like I was wanting more money in the bank than ever before any 26 year old probably. You know, is like, I had it I made it I did it. Why am I still unhappy? You know, that was like the turning point for me is like the cliche saying like, money doesn't buy you happiness. No fucking shit man. I arrived in Miami with my legs and I was just like, I was coming against all the same roadblocks. I was having trouble taking responsibility for things. I felt overworked and underappreciated. I felt like I just wasn't motivated. So that was my breaking point was like, Okay, I have everything that I thought would make me happy. I'm still not happy, what's up and that's when I really started to look back at my childhood. I started doing a lot of therapy to bring up like repressed memories because a lot of us will repress the true cause of our insecurity which stems from childhood. But I also want to urge the audience to not feel like you have to hit a breaking point. I mean, I actually feel like that in itself is a limiting belief. Oh, I have to hit rock bottom and you know, maybe for you it's like I lose all my money and my girlfriend and blah to finally like face it like, no you don't like you can start now you know, that is also a limiting belief feeling like you have to hit rock bottom and have this like heroic triumphal story like you can start now. But the truth is that a lot of people have been so programmed to like people please and want to be liked that beginning to face their own shame and their own shortcomings in any way. I mean, it's just like a deal breaker for a lot of people, not necessarily entrepreneurs, business owners that have any sort of success, I have usually got to have some level of self awareness, or they are just purely operating from a place of narcissism, in which case they'll in an opposite way through an opposite route also find business success because they lack empathy, and they can really trample over people. So for me, I do think having the business partners and like the old colleagues I used to work with helped because I worked with them so frequently on a day to day basis that I was able to get that feedback from them which I really took seriously especially when I kept hearing the same things like the victim mentality thing for like, that was huge for me to get past to start, like owning my shit taking responsibility, but it's not easy. It's certainly not easy. I certainly avoided it for a long time. Like I said, I had to hit rock bottom, I was stubborn. It's mainly about self love self forgiveness, like face yourself, face your shit, it's okay. It's okay. If you've been even the toxic person, even the hurtful person like if you can look at it, face it, correct it like that is what we need so much in society, but people run away from their own. People don't own up to their own part in it. Which is what's been really hard is all of these people. Most of them wounded in childhood, never got a dress. They were truly victimized and it never got resolved and they carry that with them. They're kind of bitter. They're kind of like dude, fuck everyone like why am I so you know, coming basically showing up in the world from a place of like, everyone's out to get me or the world's not a safe place? Of course you're not gonna want to take responsibility for things, of course you're gonna play the blame game of course oh, it's Trump. You know, whatever people want to blame. There's a million things people want to blame. blame yourself, start taking a good hard look at yourself. How are you accountable? Oh, I was just in an abusive relationship with a guy for four years. Talk shit. How are you accountable? What are you doing to put yourself in that situation? How little respect do you have for yourself to stay day after day, even when you're getting red flags knowing this person is toxic? You need to face your own insecurities, baby because that's the only way you're going to get out. No one can save you but you Shane: But how do you do that? So I get that and I appreciate all that right? I mean, there's no like hey, Shane, follow these three things. And then you're going to be you know, to the land of bliss, and everything's gonna be perfect. Like most people traditionally go like, Hey, I'm gonna go talk to a counselor. Okay that's great for... And that's… Shay: You can I recommend life coaches more than clinically trained counselors. Life coaches usually do it because of their own passion and their own experience. They're usually self taught, I find that self taught people are way more effective than traditionally trained in the therapy space. That's my experience. So a life coach. That's great, but really, I would go to your friends you know, if you think of more like the relationships in your life right now, think about the ones that are actually maybe I don’t want to say the hardest but the most triggering for you. You know, I have girlfriends that I love to death but I'll even avoid hanging out with them sometimes for how blunt and direct they are with their feedback for me, these are the friends you want the people who are going to call you out on your bullshit who are going to be the most direct that's what love is, you know love is not never telling your friend that you believe they have a real problem that needs addressing because I don't want to hurt their feelings they are my friends. That is not love. You know, love for your friends and for the relationships in your life is telling them raw and honest feedback, even if it's going to hurt them initially. So I would say a more tangible tip for starting to break down your own programming your own limiting beliefs that's been holding you back like a lot of us have is to think about which friends you trust and which friends you believe would be the most honest with you, should you ask them this question? And simply go to them and say, like, look, I know that we're friends, we like to be nice to each other, lift each other up a lot, but like, I'm really looking to improve my shortcomings. I'm really looking to address my flaws. And I'm aware that I might have a blind spot for my own flaws, my own shortcomings, my own toxicity, frankly, what do you think, honestly, I could work on, can you give me some feedback? Do you feel that I'm defensive when people disagree with me? Do you feel like I'm conceited and cold and I don't let other people in whatever the case may be, find a friend that you trust, who you really believe is willing to be raw and honest with you and start to cultivate that relationship where you actually give each other feedback because I know for me when I started having friends that didn't just people please me and actually called me out of my bullshit. That's when things started to change a lot. Shane: I don't have any friends. So what happens if you don't have any friends? I mean now so do I just talked to myself or I mean, is it like, hey Shane, I think you're should do this differently because sometimes you do this and I'm like, you don't, Shane I don't do that, leave me alone. Shay: You don’t have friends, well, I would start with making some friends, buddy, come on, okay. Shane: That's going to be my goal. That's gonna be my goal. Shay: Do you know Mark Gaysfield on LinkedIn, he is recruiter, he is a creator. He's a friend of mine. He just did a video on LinkedIn, it went viral. It was about how many men don't have friends. So your real epidemic with a lot of men, especially in the business sector, because they'll pour themselves into their work instead. A lot of men are very lonely. I mean, I know we talked a lot about male privilege. There's a real female privilege that doesn't get talked about enough that is women are definitely more privileged that worked hard to cry. You know, we're taught growing up it's okay to be emotional. That's kind of like the thing that we've accepted with a female identity in society, but we've like completely destroyed it for men like dude, being masculine is not, not having emotions like people say there's a toxic masculinity epidemic screw that there's a lack of masculinity epidemic. I mean, these men are hurting and I love that you just came out and admitted it like, dude, I don't have friends like, you're so not alone. I think it's really hard for a lot of men to open up to feel safe, you know, so for you, I would definitely work on finding some friends you know, get out more. Shane: It's funny. So I mean, I do have friends. But I mean, the thing is, is I don't it's funny because I mean, this is just something that I've thought about recently and what's going like it's, I do have friends right? I did people but I don't know it's this weird thing of like you would think of for whatever the reasons that I would have all kinds of people and tons of people that I hang out with, but I just don't Shay: It's kind of like one of those things where like a ton of people but you personally don't have like a tight. I can relate to that. Shane: Yeah, I mean, it's like I'm, I do a lot of, I don't know, I’ll give me an example like people say what is your hobby? And I'm like, I don't have an answer for that. Like I mean, I work out I used to do boxing and you know I do all this fun stuff, but I don't really have anything I'm like, Oh, this is my hobby. Like we went to a shooting ranges recently… I got my little list of things that I want to do. But it's interesting. I don't really have anything that I'm like. I mean, other than working, I used to be terrible with work all like, I used to work 18 hours a day, 20 hours a day. I don't do that anymore. Yeah, it was… sickness. But you know, now I've got a full team and all this kind of stuff. So I'm able to delegate and stuff, but I don't know, it's just an interesting thing of like, you would think you know, or matter at all. Not that you'd say. But it's just the real deal. Shay: Yeah, I would imagine it's coming from some core belief like, maybe, I mean, I don't know exactly what it could be. But like an underlying belief that like you're not worthy of friends. Maybe you had like a friend really hurt you in the past that you don't realize you're operating now from like scarcity, feeling like I don't want to open up to friends. It's just not worth it for me. Shane: And that could be, I just I feel like I am open with I don't know, who knows. And once again, I'm not sure this into Shane's counseling session because you know you should be charging per hour for this. Yeah, I mean, I just wanna make sure you're making money, I’m like, my mom started when I was seven. But I mean yeah. Shay: We're gonna be talking about your mom offline. Shane. Shane: We should Shay: Break down what the heck went on, you know like Shane: She's the only listener. So that'll be good because I feel like it's gonna be really cool then should be like so what do you guys talking about Shay: Well I mean like it really is our parents that's the blind spot like people don't realize that they even had abusive or neglectful parents because as a child, you would much rather take on the belief that you're just innately flawed and unlovable than you would ever admit that your parents don't love you and you're unsafe. I mean, children can't they can't simultaneously believe that their parents don't love them and that they're unsafe and feel safe and you know, supported by their parents. So that's why we idealize our parents a lot of times we diminish the very clear, negative, toxic qualities. I mean, how many people do you know that are still doing things for their mom or dad and all they do is bitch, all they do is bitch about them? Like, I gotta go pick up my mom. I gotta, like, stop doing things for them. You're idealizing like, you're still like, as a little child being like, my mom loves me. But this is not like, No, she doesn't like you're an adult now like, get out of her. Shane: You mum hates you Shay: It's true. I know that I know that it's a controversial statement, I know that it doesn't apply to anyone. So I want everyone listening to know I am speaking in generalities here, but straight up 90% of people I talked to when I really break it down, there is so much other issues would be resolved if they just cut out their family. I mean, it is insane the blind spot people have for their family. And I'm not talking about your wife and your kids. I'm talking about your own parents, your siblings, wherever you come from. Because a lot of people just carry that toxicity with them thinking they have some obligation to family stuff and all of that. Let me tell you when I cut out my family for the first time a few years ago when I really started setting boundaries and distancing, man, that is when I took off. That is when I took off on LinkedIn. It's when I started making way more money. That's when I started facing my true authentic self. It would not have happened if I kept trying to gain the approval of my family. No way. Shane: So how does this I'm going to try to tie this into the viral stuff, the marketing and the videos and stuff. Do you feel like the Shay that was doing those videos was Shay 1.0 this is Shay 2.0. And do you feel like there's a transition, do you feel like there's going to be different content that's going to be coming out now that you've kind of broken out of that shell? Shay: Yes, yeah, thank you for asking me that, well, I will always do the marketing content. You know, like I said, I am still very passionate about my digital marketing background and how I can bring this some knowledge to business owners, specifically, the older generation, a lot of times the older generation is big on LinkedIn, a lot of them feel overwhelmed with social media. I feel very fortunate and privileged to be, it's an honor, like I love teaching the older generation about social and I'll always do that, or at least my company will do that in some facet or another when I move away and take more of a backseat role. But you know, I am starting a podcast, and that's going to be very much focused around mental health and the epidemic of narcissism. I have really big plans for that. It's going to be a lot more raw and unfiltered. So like, if you follow me on LinkedIn, you like my mental health stuff, my vulnerability, you'll definitely want to subscribe to my podcast because it is going even deeper and starting to really teach people it's going to be a lot about business too like how narcissism thrives in the business world, that's a topic I'm very passionate about. So ultimately going to be like, interviewing different people in the mental health space who are part of this movement of dismantling this mental disorder that we've had in society for so long, but also interviewing business owners and breaking down how they see narcissism. Either their own narcissism playing a role in their success or how they see it unfold in the business world as to why we have so much yeah, so much conflict. You know, there's definitely a huge lack of empathy happening at the corporate level at the government level. It's narcissism. That's what it is. Shane: I love it. You got good energy. Like I said, I thought we're gonna be talking about viral videos and all this kind of superficial stuff. Shay: I know, I know, it's like I've talked about it so much like I was telling Shane earlier I've done so many podcasts this year. A lot of people want to ask me about marketing my background going viral all that it's fine. You know, I like talking about it. I just talked about it a lot. Shane: It’s just been talked about too much. I mean this is once again, this is why we call it Shane Barker’s marketing madness podcast because sometimes we'll talk about marketing 99% of the time. Sometimes it's 1%. So today is going to be closer to the 1%. Which is okay, we’ll talk about the other stuff. So what is it? You have you figured out what the name of your podcast? Shay: Yeah, it's called narcissisling Shane: Narcissicling, is that going to be a new word in the Webster dictionary? Is that narcissisling? Shay: I intend to, yeah, I mean, it's very like themed around like I use narcissisling as like a verb for like our society, like we are like on fire with narcissism. We don't even realize that it's so common. It's just accepted. But you know, it's like, the theme is like fire I got like an American flag as the background in the cover photo. I mean, it's a lot about I mean, narcissism touches the whole planet, but it's a lot about what's happening here in the US and Western culture and how that is really starting to seep into other cultures and this some Yeah, this very like narcissistic attitude. Like plowing people over which I also believe stems from white people, which I'll get into on my show as well, is seeping into other cultures now and people start to kind of either fall victim to it like you know, “you can't beat them join them” or they're becoming very conscious thought leaders you know, like Gary Vaynerchuk for example, I find he is a great example of somebody actually considered a narcissistic but truly he has a lot of empathy for such a digital mogul. I mean, he's like constantly calling out the toxic hierarchy in a lot of corporations in a lot of agencies, I can tell that he really genuinely cares about his employees, giving them a comfortable life giving them what they need, and just having empathy, you know, that's the modern age entrepreneur I want to support or the business owners who have an emotional intelligence. Shane: There we go, man. I'll tell you I mean, like I said, it's you just you never know and Shay you just came in full force and we got Shay 2.0 the Shay 1.0 was old podcast. This is the new podcast. Shay: We're gonna make it we're gonna make healing viral you guys, we're gonna make healing viral. Shane: That’s it you come out with guns blazing. I love it. So we'll talk a little bit about market. We're going to turn that one person into like 4% or something, right? Nothing too crazy. Shay: Hey nothing makes you a better marketer or business person or person really than working on yourself. So this all applies Shane: No, it really does. And it's also storytelling right? I think it also goes into that as well like your background and things. I mean, Shay: Oh yeah, I definitely want people to know where I come from, because I feel a lot of people have a tendency to look at me like I have it all together. I've been like the on this. It's like, dude, this has been a long journey for me. And I also want people to understand that being insecure very much was a driver for my success in my 20s. Shane: Yeah, well, I mean, you're still 20 you're 26 I mean, you're still… Shay: I just turned 27 now, yeah. Shane: 27 look at you grown up right in front of us in the podcast. Look at that. Hey, this is me. 2.0 wait for 3.0 coming out here another year or two. So I'm gonna ask you this. I'm not gonna, screw marketing we're gonna talk about this next interview. When you talk about healing and that kind of stuff. What do you continuously doing to improve yourself? Like, what are you doing on that side of things? I mean, the marketing side I get it the videos. Like I said, we're going to touch on that but I lied again. What are you doing, like continuously heal and improve yourself? Like what are you doing right now currently? Shay: Yeah, that's a great question. I do a lot of work. I do a lot of work. I have four different life coaches currently, for many different things, I go to breath work, which is like huge. I know I talk about like plant medicines and how beneficial that can be to really catapult you to another level of consciousness. It's like a cheat code, plant medicines for healing. If you're intimidated by doing that sort of work and taking that route with like a shaman breath work. I mean, I've been to some insane breath classes in Miami where it's like, you literally feel like you're tripping like, you go just as deep conscious wise, it's a clearing. It's super, super healing. Yoga. You know, I do meditate. I read a lot. I read a lot of books about you know, childhood development, how I got this programming, how I can undo it. I'm still in the process of undoing it and recoating myself and then yet journaling. I love to journal. You know me, I'm a huge writer. So I write a lot. I write some poems sometimes I'm just super artistic. I like to share my gifts and then it never hurts to have you know, close friends, good community to talk to you as well Shane: For sure I have a question about the life coach because I'll be honest with you, every time I hear life coach that I not put all life coaches in one category right but I instantly think like a life coach like what do I have? Like I get you're gonna tell me like life and what things you've been through it I think there's some value there. I just have always been skeptical right and I maybe I think this is the thing is I look at the person that has a degree and then I'm not saying that's the person knows how to do marketing I'd rather go with a marker that's actually grinded out and done it right so I do understand like the…, like explained to me like a life coach because I initially when I see somebody as a life coach, I assume that they just didn't make it some other place in life and now they're just like, screw it. I can just talk about my life and maybe somebody will hire me. Shay: No, it's I'm the opposite man. I'm the opposite. I look at degrees and people who are self taught and I've always had better experiences of people who are self taught. This goes for my own staff. You know, when I hired video editors if they were a film grad or they were self taught, self taught person crushed it, media buying the self taught person crushed it, therapy, the self talk person crushed it. If I'm going into surgery or I need a lawyer you better have a degree baby like I'm not messing around but people don't realize that there's so many degrees are actually counterproductive for finding a successful and effective whatever you're looking for like I said for me for me it's therapist like I really don't mess with psychologists a lot of them just get paid to write scripts anyways like it's not true healing. A lot of them don't deep down have their own story of healing. They're just kind of part of the system. Life coaches are usually like ex therapists you know, I saw naturopath ones who was an MD she left the practice because she refused to prescribe such a high amount of opiates. And this was 10 years ago when we were still in the opiate boom, she refused to prescribe so much opiates she got fired. Ad now look what's happening. They're telling them to stop prescribing opiates like these are the people I want to work with people who've been in the system seeing this straight and been like dude, this is not right. Like I am not actually healing people. And a lot of doctors get offended. Like I get that people go to med school wanting like their intentions are probably great, but a lot of people will like have trouble facing if like being objective and asking like, is this really helping people anymore? Or is this a very outdated practice that's really just intended to make money? It's not intended to heal people at all. Shane: Because it's a business. Shay: Yeah, so for me, the life coaches have actually been way better because I find that they're always someone who has actually done the work like actually face their own traumas. And the other thing about therapist is they can't talk about themselves. Not only do I feel a lot of clinically trained therapists don't have their own like experience. They didn't actually heal their own childhood wounds. They're just more in like a robotic state of like, oh, and how do you feel about that? And here's some antidepressants. Life coaches can talk life coaches can share their own experience with you, which I personally find way more valuable because I'm a talker. So if I have a life coach and I share my stuff and they're able to say, the same thing happened to me in my 20s or even like I was also abused those things are very important to me and I wasn't realizing before. Oh my gosh, what a huge benefit that life coaches can get you and get more personal with a therapist will never talk about themselves. Yeah Shane: No, that makes total sense. Once again, I've always just thought life coaches and that's just me really being judgmental because I haven't had any life coaches but I just always thought it's because it's just anybody, I can call myself a life coach. And you know, say oh hey… Shay: And you're right. And there's definitely bogus, like coaches out there like don't take everything at face value. But do want people to really start to face the reality because it is like a reality. I mean, data is proving it's just like the human consciousness or denial has not caught up because a lot of us are in debt. And we don't want to admit that we went into debt for no reason. College is bullshit. I mean, college literally just limits people and it makes them more closed minded. I believe college was originally intended to open people's minds, but because of all the resources that naturally occurred after college was invented, like the internet all of these social media platforms that connect people groups online, consciousness communities, online YouTube channels, where you can literally learn all the trades of like video editing, you don't even need a degree. It's like surpassed college so much we're now college is actually was limiting if you just go to college to get educated and you're not like utilizing the internet the free resources the mentorship following Tony Robbins following Grant Cardone following Gary Vee getting this this relevant, real time information. I mean that's like where you need to be educating yourself a lot of people are still stuck thinking, well my parents had a degree well this is where you learn this college. I personally think it makes people more closed minded a lot of cases and then righteous after the fact because it takes a very self aware person who's willing to admit they were wrong to say yeah, I went and I got a degree for no reason I'm I'm a waitress now. You know, you'll find a lot of people waitressing making excuses like I don't regret college though. I you know, I met all my friends there and I did. It's bullshit. It's bullshit. You don't need to go to college to make friends. You don't need to be in a dorm to build that community and then start to become an adult. That's just outdated. Like, look at today, look at the modern day resources. I started a million dollar company with two college dropouts. They were both self taught. I mean it's really silly. And again, disclaimer, there's certain degrees you absolutely still need college for I understand that. But it's very silly the amount of people that are going into debt for a liberal arts degree and they just end up working in a restaurant. Not to mention, they do it at age 18, when they don't even know what they want. Wait till you're 25 to go into debt for college really, really know, what is this debt? What is this going to mean? How am I going to pay it off? What is my plan, don't just blindly listen to your parents because they're still operating from the 70s when college was affordable, and actually beneficial for a lot of people. And this ties into the narcissistic parenting, parents not seeing the reality of what's good for their kids today, and just wanting their kids to have a degree because all of their friends kids have degrees and they want to fit in. Shane: Yeah. All right. So I have a few questions for you. So first of all, do you drink coffee in the morning? You probably jump out of bed. You're in fifth sixth gear. Shay: Yeah, I love coffee, but I'm like really naturally high energy so I don't do well with a lot of uppers. I drink decaf coffee, but yeah, I love coffee. Shane: So I could tell you're always in fifth and sixth gear. How much do you sleep at night? Let’s go there. Let’s talk about Shay: Less than ever lately. I used to sleep a lot more. I used to have depression. I used to not want to get out of bed, I would sleep nine, even 10 hours a night if I could. These days I sleep about six or seven. Shane: So it's still I mean, that’s still healthy, you're in the healthy range. Shay: I sleep in on the weekends, on the weekends, I'll sleep like eight or nine, you know? Yeah, I wake up with a lot more excitement. Now. I don't need as much sleep. Well, you have more drive, Shane: Well you have more drive. Shay: I’m more excited about my new purpose Shane: Especially the new purpose. I think that's exciting. Well, and it's really contagious. Right? What I mean by is it your energy is like, and I'm the same way except I'm quiet during this podcast usually, after I get off a podcast, they are interviewing me they go Dad, you're very passionate just talking. It's like almost aggressive. And people are like, Oh and I didn't do this as much because you obviously get the microphone and want to see Shay 2.0 and be excited about this rushing and it's going to be coming out and taking over the internet and cheering people so that's what's getting…, not a bad goal by any means. So if I am going to probably ask for some help for you is that the original title of this was going to be Shay Rowbottom secret formula for creating viral videos. I don't know if that's going to be clickable Shay: Wow, that’s so funny. Shane: And we put disclosed right so this is going to be the big Oh my, like all the other podcasts, this is gonna be totally different. We’re gonna talk about so we’re gonna have to figure out a different title. This one’s gonna be a little bit like you Shay: Something like how to face your childhood wounds to become a better leader. Shane: Exactly. Shay: That’s what I want to do. You know, like I said earlier, I just really see so directly how not dealing with those insecurities of mine. I let people down I let my employees down. I let my clients down. I don’t want to do that anymore. I want to heal. Shane: That’s awesome. Well, you got to go sister and you're going after I love that I like I said, you got a good little vibe. And I think this was, once again not tons of marketing side of things. But I think it was definitely helpful and just being human right and the things that we deal with. Shay: I will end with just this one marketing tip. Okay, me being so vulnerable and raw and willing to admit my flaws and my shortcomings is absolutely really a part of why I've grown so quickly on LinkedIn and garnered so much attention online. Vulnerability is a strength even in business. I gotta tell content creators this because a lot of them stay dry, they stay stuffy to niche about their market. That's fine. You know, obviously flex your skills in your industry make content around that. But people do business with humans and I do not believe I would have nearly the success I had today with my own business, my revenue my LinkedIn following had I not been honest and real with myself and my followers. So please, I know it's hard, it can be scary, but do the same for yourself because people will respect you for it and you're now becoming a positive force and a leader for other people to start doing the same. Shane: Keep it real, folks. Keep it real. Don't be just grow, be vulnerable. It's okay, you're in a safe place. Shay: It’s okay, we're gonna die. We're gonna die. Shane: You're gonna die. Shay: Let's die with, let’s giggle it out Shane: A counselor. Just imagine a session like just you know, you're gonna die. Shay: It’s so true Shane: I know, that's how it happens. Well, so if anybody wants to get in contact with you what's some good websites, or the LinkedIn, Instagram, give me some Shay: Yeah, sure you will definitely follow me on LinkedIn. That's where all my original content goes out first. Like I said, Guys, I do I know we didn't cover a ton on this podcast. But I do go over a lot of just general digital marketing tips, video editing tips for social for the news feed on my LinkedIn, I'm always giving out free value. So definitely follow me there. It's a linkedin.com/n/Shayrowbottom. And of course, there's definitely splits of other content in there just me talking about life and personal development. And then to get in contact with me if you want to learn more about my b2b services on LinkedIn and how I help business owners attract your target market and increase revenue through this platform. You can definitely check out my website, all the info is there so that's shayrowbottom.com, and there's a form there just fill out to set up a call. Shane: Awesome. Well Shay thank you so much for being on the podcast. This was awesome. Once again, a little off to the right or left or left depends on who we talked to. It was an awesome interview. Shay: Hey if I got you to make one friend after this Shane, I did my job so I'm gonna be checking in on you buddy. You gotta make some friends. Yeah Shane: You guys email me I'm looking for friends. So just go ahead and put Shane I'll be your friend send a picture. Make sure you send your MySpace profile I want something for a long time ago and then we can kind of get to know each other a little bit through maybe an interview or something like that. And let's go recruit a friend. And I'm gonna bring one in 2020 I'm gonna find at least one friend for you Shay. Shay: Oh man, I got so much Shane: You're welcome. Shay: Haha, thank you. I got so much love man. I have so much support coming out of the woodwork. I'm very fortunate not only for the close friendships that I have in person here in South Florida but just the community online I mean it's truly amazing I'm I love each and every one of you anyone who's listening who's been following me if you've ever liked Shay engage with or you know, commented on a post, thank you because it does not go unnoticed and every day. I'm so grateful for every single one of my supporters. Shane: That's awesome, very heartfelt, well Shay thank you so much. And you guys, if you're listening this podcast and you like what you hear make sure you guys subscribe to it. And please leave some comments. Nothing but good comments if you want to leave bad comments then you can go to YouTube or something like that. But all good comments are welcome on my podcast and any other place that can be publicly seen that I care about. Awesome. Shay, have a great weekend honey and thank you so much for being on the podcast. I'm sure we'll keep in touch. Shay Thank you, Shane. It was an honor and you take care too my friend